Nice Play戲劇輔導基地

Dissecting Teens through Disney

從迪士尼來解析青少年

原文出處網站：Davidson Family therapy  https://www.davidsonfamilytherapy.com/blog/2018/11/13/dissecting-teens-through-disney

原文作者：Julia Rose     原文撰寫日期：Nov. 13, 2018

Teenagers have a bad rap in America right now. They do “dumb” things, like put tide pods in their mouths and jump out of moving vehicles. They do all of this for the same reasons we all do “dumb” things: we want to be accepted and/or we are trying to find out who we are. This can be explored through one of this writer’s favorite constructs, Disney.

在美國青少年被莫名地批評。他們做些”蠢事”，例如將洗衣球放在嘴裡、從正在行駛的車輛中跳下來。他們做這些蠢事跟我們做蠢事的理由一樣：我們希望被接納並且/或許我們嘗試著去探尋我是誰。這可以從筆者最喜歡的一個產物─迪士尼來探索這個議題。

What I love about Disney is how it exaggerates every day themes in a comical and animated way. When we dissect some of Disney’s most beloved films, we can find striking similarities between the characters and our teens. As we explore a few characters and movies below, we challenge you to read with an empathetic lens that may help you better understand, accept, and relate to your teens.  

為什麼我會如此喜愛迪士尼呢？因為它以一種喜劇性的、生動活潑的方式放大我們日常生活中出現的主題。當我們解構幾部迪士尼受人歡迎的電影，我們可以在這些角色與青少年之中發現一些驚人的相似。當我們探索以下的幾個角色與電影時，我們挑戰你戴上同理的眼鏡來閱讀，因為這樣會幫助你更容易理解、接納並連結到你身旁的青少年。

1.     Hercules
 This is one of my personal favorite characters. Hercules is basically what we call adopted. He is casted off of Mount Olympus and is stuck in a challenging state of not being fully mortal, nor a God. This arbitrary state of being can also be found in teens, as they are awkwardly wedged in between childhood and adulthood. Hercules, like teens, is pressured to understand and define himself in this elusive and dichotomous position, and in the process faces mockery and isolation from his peers. Throughout the film, he grasps for connections and relationships in order to hide from his greatest fear- that he doesn’t belong. These feelings mirror how every teen feels to some extent or another. Even the most “popular” teens are trying to figure out who they are and where they belong.

1.大力士

這是我個人最喜歡的角色之一。大力士基本上就是俗稱的撿來的小孩。他被丟在奧林帕斯山上，而且卡在一個並非完全的人類又非神的一個狀態。這樣一個獨特的狀態也發生在青少年身上，因為他們正是笨拙地擠在童年與成年之間。大力士─如同青少年─在這個難以描述、分水嶺的位置，被強迫要去理解並定義他自己；在這個過程中他也面對到來自同儕的孤立和嘲笑。在整部電影中，他企圖去抓緊一些聯結或關係好讓他最大的恐懼可以被隱藏起來─他不屬於任何群體。這某種程度反映了每個青少年都會有的感覺。即使是”最受歡迎”的青少年都在試著去理解自己是誰並且自己歸屬於哪裡。

Throughout the film, Hercules battles isolation and rejection, both of which create a disconnect from others. In Hercules, Disney challenges the viewers to consider the social nature of humans and our embedded need for love and acceptance. While watching the film, we encourage you to replace Hercules with your adolescent, as they are likely faced with similar struggles. As you empathize with Hercules throughout the film, take note of the feelings you are left with and find a way to relay them to your son or daughter. It is easy to brush off our adolescents’ experiences as trivial or small, but in most cases, the root of depression is isolation. Just as Disney confronts us with the importance of acceptance, we encourage you to consider your teen’s journey to acceptance as one of the most important battles they will likely face in this season of their life.

在整部電影中，大力士都在對抗孤立與被拒絕，這兩者都製造了一種與他人的斷裂。在大力士這部電影中，迪士尼挑戰觀眾去思考人類的社會天性以及我們與生俱來對於愛與被接納的需求。當看這部電影時，我鼓勵你將大力士這個角色代換成你身邊的青少年，因為他們可能面臨到類似的掙扎。當你透過電影同理了大力士，留意你所產生的感覺然後找個方法將這些感覺聯結到你的兒子和女兒。我們很容易抹滅青少年的經驗而將之當作瑣碎的、微小的。但大部分情況，他們沮喪的根源是來自於孤立。就如同迪士尼使我們面對到接納的重要性，我們鼓勵你們視青少年航向接納的旅程如同在這個階段的人生裡，他們所可能會面對到的最重要的戰役之一。

2.     Ariel 
Ariel is your stereotypical defiant teen. You want her to be singing at a concert and she is messing around with dingle hoppers and sharks. I know you parents can relate to king triton, but let’s look deeper into Ariel’s behavior and see where we can empathize and even gain some understanding.

 Ariel is different from the other mermaids. She is interested in human artifacts and life out of the sea. She is isolated because of the treasures she finds and has a single fish friend,Flounder, and in that way she is happy and accepted at the same time. She is grossly misunderstood by everyone as a rebellious teen, when she really is just curious in a way other mer-people are not. She faces rejection and judgment for being different, yet her differences are what brings joy and happiness. On the surface, Ariel appears to be defiant and “bad,” yet upon closer inspection, she is simply curious and entranced by the vast offerings of the world.

2.艾莉兒   

艾莉兒是你身邊典型的叛逆青少年。你希望她在一場音樂會裡演唱但她卻和鯊魚和一些小東西瞎攪和。我知道父母們很能與海頓國王感同身受，但讓我們更深地看看艾莉兒的行為，看看我們能同理哪些部分並得到一些了解。艾莉兒和其他的美人魚不同。相對於大海，她對於人類的製品與生活更有興趣。因著她的收藏品，她是孤立的；她只有唯一一隻比目魚朋友，但用這樣的方式生活她很開心、同時也被接納。她被其他所有的人嚴重誤解為一個叛逆的青少年，但其實她只是用一種其他海中生物不會有的方式表達她的好奇。她因為和他人不同而面對到排斥與批判，但她的不同也是她的快樂與幸福的根源。在表面上，艾莉兒似乎很叛逆和「壞」；但更仔細地去看，她單單只是好奇並被廣大的世界給迷住了。

Because she is misunderstood and forced to let go of her desires, Ariel decides to run away and find a sense of belonging and unconditional love elsewhere. And- spoiler alert- she finds just that from a human boy. I’m sure many parents can relate to their teens entranced by the juvenile, alluring acceptance of a forbidden love. In hindsight, we wonder how Ariel’s future might have looked if her father had taken the time to see the world through her eyes and made more of an effort to understand Ariel. If he had done so, he might have realized how innocent and harmless Ariel’s desires actually were. On the outside, we can find many compromises Ariel and her father could have made to live more harmoniously. We are left wondering if Triton could have kept his daughter safe from the dangers she ultimately faced if he would have found a way for Ariel to scratch her itch for adventure under his supervision rather than banning her from all of her misunderstood desires. After watching the film, we challenge you to learn from Triton’s mistakes and take the time to see the world through your children’s eyes. In doing so, you may find a way a balance between their wishes and your expectations.

因為她被誤解且被強迫要放下她的渴望，艾莉兒決定離家出走並去別的地方尋找一份歸屬感和無條件的愛。此處注意有雷──她從一位人類的男孩那裡找到了。我相信許多家長對於家中的青少年被年少的、誘人的禁忌之愛裡的接納給迷住了能夠感同身受。事後來看，我們很好奇如果艾莉兒的爸爸肯花些時間從她的眼中看看世界並多努力去了解她，艾莉兒的未來會長甚麼樣子？如果他這樣做的話，他就有可能明白艾莉兒的可望實際上是很純潔而無害的。在外部來說，我們可以找到許多艾莉兒和她的爸爸可以更和平共處的妥協之道。我們仍會試著去想，假設海頓國王想要保護女兒不要遇到她最終遇到的危險，如果他可以提供艾莉兒一個在他監督下可以稍微紓解探險渴望的方式，而非全面禁止她那被誤解的渴望，事情會變成怎麼樣？在看完電影之後，我們挑戰你從海頓國王的錯誤中去學習，並花點時間從你的孩子的眼中去看看這個世界。這樣做，你將從中發現你的期待與他們的願望中的一個平衡點。

 3.     Moana  

 Stuck between an island and the sea, Moana is an effervescent and daring character. Moana struggles between an alluring call from the sea and a devotion to her people on land. Similarly to Ariel, Moana is trapped in a state of all-or-nothing thinking- either she can have the sea or the land, but not both. We have worked with many teens who, too, struggle with black-and-white thinking and are trapped in an extreme state of believing they are either popular or a loser, or either smart or dumb. As adults, we are able to see the in-between more clearly, due to our more advanced cognitive development. Because of this, we encourage you to try and help your teen navigate to a more flexible mode of thinking. In order to do this, focus on strengthening your relationship with your children through empathy and understanding. In doing this you may find your teen blossoming into a more rational-minded young adult.

3.海洋奇緣─莫娜    

雖然困在大海與島嶼之間，莫娜卻是一個充滿活力泡泡的勇敢角色。莫娜在大海充滿吸引力的呼喚與投身於島上她的人民之間掙扎著。與艾莉兒相似，莫娜陷在一個全有或全無的狀態中，她或是選擇大海、或者選擇島嶼，但無法兩者兼有。我們曾經和許多青少年工作過，他們也同樣在非黑即白的思考中掙扎；陷在他們若非受歡迎就是個失敗者或是若非聰明就是個笨蛋這樣的想法中。身為成人、因著我們更完整的認知發展，我們能更清楚地看出中間地帶。因此，我鼓勵你去幫助你的青少年朝向一個更有彈性的思考模式。為了要達到這樣的目標，你必須專注在透過同理和理解來加強你和孩子之間的關係。這樣做之後你將會發現你的青少年轉變成為一個更有理性心智的年輕成人。

4.     Aladdin
When I think of Aladdin, I think of a teenager trying hard to be something he is not in order to gain acceptance from his community and -shocking- a pretty girl. Jasmine’s acceptance and nonjudgmental nature provides Aladdin with an emotionally safe space to explore his identity and where his place is in his world. This exploration of identity is healthy and developmentally appropriate for teenagers, but, without guidance and supervision it can often lead them into trouble. Thankfully Aladdin and Jasmine navigate safely through many dangers on their journey of awareness, but we know the real world doesn’t offer quite as many last-minute opportunities of escape. Jasmine’s nonjudgemental nature and your level-headed adult thinking may be the perfect combination for providing your children with a safe place to explore themselves and the world around them.

4.阿拉丁     

當我想到阿拉丁，我想到的是一個青少年非常努力地想要成為某個他並不是的人好獲得社群中的接納與─答啦─一個漂亮女孩。茉莉的接納與不批判的特質提供阿拉丁一個情感上的安全空間可以去探索他的身分認同與他該有的位置。這樣的身分認同探索對於青少年來說是健康且在發展上是合宜的，但如果少了引導與監督，這常常可以讓他們惹上麻煩。幸運的是阿拉丁和茉莉在探索的旅程中安全通過許多危險，但我們知道在真實世界中並沒有這麼多最後一秒的脫逃機會。茉莉的不批判的特質與你冷靜沉穩的成人思考將會是提供你的孩子安全空間來探索他們自己和周遭世界的完美結合。

5.     Belle
Another misunderstood teenager, Belle enjoys things that other townspeople disapprove of, such as reading and adventure. She is asked to conform and is outcasted when she refuses. How many times has your teenager come home from school upset about being different or shunned?

5.貝兒     

另一個被誤解的青少年，貝兒享受的事情是鎮上其他的人不認同的，例如閱讀和冒險。她被要求要配合，而當她拒絕的時候她就被排擠。有多少次你的青少年因著他的不同和迴避，從學校回到家裡是氣鼓鼓的?

 It is not uncommon for parents to come home exhausted and in a bad mood after a long day of work. Why not? It has been a long tiring day! The same goes for you teenagers, except instead of work, they come home from school. It may seem trivial and easy to adults, but developmentally their frustration is justified. See if your child wants to talk about their day, but do not force them. Allow for some decompression time before asking. The last thing they probably want to do is talk about school right when they get off the bus or in the car.

對於家長來說工作一整天回到家累癱了、情緒很差是很常見的事。怎麼可能不會呢？是一整個漫長、令人疲憊的一天耶！對於青少年來說也是如此，只是他們不是下班，而是放學回家。對於成人來說可能看來瑣碎、簡單，但在發展階段來說他們的挫折感是正常的。試試看你的孩子是否想要談論他們的一天，但不要強迫他們。在問之前給他們一些釋放壓力的空間。他們最不想做的事情大概就是一下車或是在車上就直接談論學校發生的事。

I hope you enjoyed taking the time to compare your teen’s experiences with the experiences of these disney characters. To clarify, I am not saying is that your teenager’s actions are okay, but their feelings and experiences are valid. One of the easiest tools to use with teenagers is validation and empathy. Blending empathy and validation with your discipline could be the key to helping your teens make safe, yet developmentally appropriate choices. Take a look at this example below and see how adding empathy and understanding into how you communicate with your children could help you both get a touch of what you want and result in a peaceful night. “I see you are angry with me for taking away your phone, but your disrespectful tone is not acceptable. You can choose to have your phone back when you have calmed down, or you can choose to have it taken away for the rest of the night. It’s up to you.”

我希望你享受花了這些時間比較迪士尼的角色所擁有的經驗與你的青少年所有經驗。這邊要澄清的是，我並不只滿足於你的青少年的行為是好的而是希望他們的感受與經驗是有效的。與青少年相處很有效的工具之一就是認可和同理。將認可和同理加入你的管教當中將會幫助你的青少年能做出安全且在發展上合宜的選項。看看以下這個例子，看如何將同理與理解加入你與孩子的溝通，這可以幫助你得到你想要的並且擁有一個和平的夜晚。「我看到你因為我拿走的你手機很生氣，但是你不尊重的語調是不被接受的。你可以選擇當你冷靜下來的時候拿回你的手機或是選擇剩下的時間手機都是被拿走的，這取決於你。」

When your child becomes a teenager, they are developing their cognitive skills, as well we their physical bodies. Because their cognitive processes are not as concrete as their physical bodies are, it can be hard to remember that they are still have a long way to go to master critical thinking and conceptualizing. If you want them to give you a break, I suggest giving them a break as well. You have had a good bit of time to adjust, but this is a whole new world for your teenager.

當你的孩子變成一個青少年，他們正在發展他們的認知技巧和他們的身體成熟度。因為他們的認知進程並不會像身體發展那樣具體可見，因此很難去記得他們在擅長思辨能力與抽象思考前還有很長一段路要走。如果你希望他們讓你喘口氣，我建議你讓他們也喘口氣。你經歷了很長一段時間做調整，但對於青少年來說，這是一個全新的世界。

Thank you for taking time to read this blog written by Julia Rose. For more information on working with your teens contact Julia Rose at Jrose@davidsonfamilytherapy.com

若希望得到更多的資訊 原文作者的連絡資訊如下

Julia Rose

Jrose@davidsonfamilytherapy.com